2004–01–15

Top Ten Reasons George W. Bush Wants To Put A Man On Mars

1. Dick Cheney needs a new undisclosed location
2. It’s part of his “No Planet Left Behind” initiative
3. Great deal on the off-season airfare right now at Expedia.com
4. Maybe we’ll find some weapons of mass destruction there
5. We’ve run out of places on Earth to drill for oil
6. Hoping to get Mork’s autograph
7. We cannot back down until the people of Mars hold free elections
8. Dude, free Mars bars
9. Why not? It’s not like we have an enormous debt or failing economy
10. Pete Rose bet him we wouldn’t do it

Ha. Very funny.