Monthly Archives: November 2009

Dumbed Down and Out

I was getting caught up on a couple of my regular web reads and came across this comment by voxpop to a recent blog post by Jim Kunstler.

…I would like to believe that Americans, when pushed to their limits, would rise up en mass against the corporate greed that holds them in check. But it seems this would have happened before now.

When I survey the rape of the American psyche that transpired over the past nine years, I wonder: have We, the People, become the victims of domestic violence? Just as a battered wife stays in her place, does not question her husband, does not try to protect herself or flee the abusive situation, have we become so accustomed to the abuse of our perceived authority figures that we are unable to entertain notions of standing up for ourselves? We must remember that we pay the salaries of the people who abuse us. We can choose to cut off our financial support, thus rendering the batterers impotent. But this sort of revolution is even harder to imagine than the sort with arms. The people who would most benefit from a revolution are too busy feeding their families to start one. Those who can afford to fight don’t care enough about the cause to do so. They are comfortable and complacent – as long as they have their numbing substances of choice on hand.

I have become disheartened. ‘What then must we do?’

I disagree with the idea that this is a problem which has developed over the past nine years but I agree with the general idea. I think we’ve gotten ourselves into a cultural, behavioral rut so deep that we have no idea how to get out. We’re terrified of what it might mean for our comfortable but degraded lives. Our political system was stolen several decades ago and has since been controlled by corporate capitalism. Whether the party in control is Democrat or Republican is irrelevant, the two party facade is just a distraction, a news-network soap opera.

Sadly, we’ve become twisted perversions of the citizenry we one were striving to be. We’ve allow ourselves to be remade into hyper consumers obsessed with the latest gadgets and the lives of celebrities or ranking of sports teams. We traded away meaningful lives lived in the context of community, seeking our to develop our better selves. Instead of helping one another develop to our fullest potential we accepted a bribe of cheap thrills and trinkets from China.

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Taking of Life

Deer hunting is in full swing these days. Last weekend my brother and uncle both shot deer. The taking of life is something I’ve been thinking about lately. A month ago I wrote about the two dogs I had to kill. I’ve thought about them off and on since that day and last weekend went to see their decaying bodies where I put them under a couple of trees. They are returning to nature and in that I find a bit of comfort. Nothing in nature is wasted. I don’t have a problem with death. It is inevitable and beautiful in its own way. We all return.

I suppose what I have a problem with is the unnecessary taking of life. When we butchered three of the roosters back in September I was okay with that because it really needed to be done. I’ve been catching and eating fish out of the lake over the past year and I’m okay with that because I know there are GOBS of fish in the lake. Harvesting fish and chickens when necessary for management I can deal with. Harvesting deer I can deal with because I know there are lots of them and they are an excellent source of local protein. I’ve been thinking that I might hunt a few rabbits or squirrels this winter because there are lots of them here. LOTS. I’m not sure I’ll do it though it fits into my plan of more local protein via very select harvesting of a variety of animals.

I have a block in my brain. I imagine a deer, rabbit, or squirrel going about its business of living. I imagine in vivid detail that rabbit in all it’s fuzzy adorableness and then I imagine its life coming to a sudden and violent end not by owl or fox but by a bullet. I know, rationally that death is a part of nature and as I said above, I embrace that cycle of life. Nature is organisms consuming one another, the constant movement of energy through consumption and digestion. I also know that local protein from a rabbit or squirrel is a healthy way for me to obtain protein. The alternative is to continue importing it from offsite in the form of a variety of beans, rice and other vegetable sources. I’m fairly certain that the most ecologically sustainable protein would be the local meat especially when it is actually on site.

I think I know that the most natural, energy efficient way for me to sustain my body is to strive for local food which means gardening and hunting. Because vegetable protein is so easily available at the grocery store I’ve allowed myself to view hunting as optional, unnecessary. I don’t NEED to hunt to survive. But the truth is that if I don’t make an effort to get food by hunting (and gardening) I’ll continue relying on imported energy from the grocery store which means thousands of food miles from who knows where. Of course, there is the looming economic depression which IS coming regardless of any can kicking by the Obama folks. Of course here is also peak oil and crazy weather, both of which will impact food production in the short and long terms. My point is that right now conditions permit that I can think and debate this with myself but the time may not be far off where I am forced to hunt by disruptions in the food supply. And I do believe that day is coming, sooner rather than later.

A part of my problem is a constant sense of guilt. I’ve gotten into the pattern of trying to offset what I deem to be the “bad” behavior of other people. Whether it is climate change or industrial agriculture’s method of meat production, the more I see others around me showing a lack of concern the more determined I am. The result is that I am very sensitive to the possibility that I might drive a car unnecessarily which is a direct response to seeing so many others show no care at all in their use of oil or coal. Quite honestly, I went through a couple years of pretty intense depression. I was so frustrated, angry, sad at my perception that most people don’t care about the impact of their lives that I wanted to end my own. I just shut down. Stopped going out in public. Stopped visiting family. Not only did I not want to get in a car but I often did not even want to eat. I wanted to crawl into the crook of big tree and fade away. When I moved to the cabin I had not planned on connecting to people again. I figured I’d find what little happiness I could alone in a garden and little cabin by the lake.

Back to my point, I think my reluctance to eat meat is a direct response to living in a country/culture where eating meat is just an accepted part of life. Most people I’ve ever known don’t really care about the welfare of the animals they eat and any kind of cruelty those animals may have endured before being butchered is simply a non-issue to them. You can see where this is going. My response has been to develop a very deep emotional connection to the animals around me. Whether it is a tufted titmouse, canada goose, white-tail deer, swallowtail butterfly or any of the critters around me, I respect their existence. How can I not? I’m struggling to reconcile this respect for the individuals with my understanding that in a healthy, natural ecosystem some animals eat other animals. Humans are animals after all. We are a part of it all. True as that is it is also true that we’ve allowed ourselves to become completely disconnected from what sustains us and with this alienation comes a dangerous ability to disrespect. I think we’ve forgotten that we are, in fact, animals and that we share this planet with many other species. We are just one. We like to think that we’re special because of our “intelligence” and yet I see what we’ve done with it and I can do is shake my head.

We humans, in our grand intelligence, have made war upon one another and upon the planet our way of life. Given this context I’ve made a habit of trying very hard to do no harm. I know that I’ve failed, I’ve done plenty of harm. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t try. In any case, I’ve been thinking about what it means for me to survive and whether or not I’ll start hunting.

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Recycled kitchen table and other projects

New Table, Old WoodWhen I first moved into the cabin in May of 2008 I was loaned/given a little kitchen table which, while very functional, didn’t really fit. It was in great shape, like new really, but was an 80’s style particle board deal that just didn’t feel right. I finally got around to making the table that I thought would fit better and I’m pretty happy with it. It is very simple, made of weathered wood from free pallets we picked up this past spring. The old wood and cedar branch legs are a much better fit for the cabin. I had enough wood left over to build a rustic end cabinet between the door and sink as well as a few wall shelves. I’ve still got a few details to finish but they are mostly done and very functional. I’ve still got gobs of wood left so I’m thinking about how I might put it to use.
New from old
I’ve always been fond of weathered wood and the more I really look at it the more I appreciate it. The texture and color of it seems so much more natural to me as it so closely matches the coloring and texture of the outer bark of most trees. While I like the warmer red tones of new, untreated wood these are not the colors you see when you look out at trees in the forest. You only see these colors when you cut into a tree.
New Shelves, Old Wood
The last big project for my cabin will be a covered porch which I hope to get to in the spring. I’ve still got a few bits of trim that I never put up that I am going to take care of very soon. Eventually I would like to cover the vinyl flooring with some sort of wood flooring but for that I’ll wait till I find something I can salvage and re-use.

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